Metaphors and Their Meanings
So there was a reason for writing about feelings in my last post. In my research, I learned that it is common for people with PTSD to struggle with identifying and expressing emotions. It can be frustrating, feeling strong emotions but having an impairment in expressing them. I called this blog "Through the Clouds" because I have found that living with mental illness can be like trying to sight navigate a plane on a cloudy day. Sometimes it's difficult to see your hand in front of your face. Other times there is a break from the confusion and you can see for miles. (I also named it this because I am a 6' tall woman and still get comments about the weather up here as an adult.)
I think our emotions can play a part in the creation/nurturing of the clouds. Not to say there is any sort of morality or whatever about feelings. This isn't an anthropomorphizing of emotions. But our feelings, how we interpret them, and how we express them CAN hinder our movement through the world. They can create a block for seeing the reality of a situation.
What does this have to do with working with or training a service dog? I have found that as Hippo and I grow to trust one another, my feelings are surfacing at an unprecedented(for me) rate. She has helped me to feel safe enough to explore difficult traumatic events and how I felt/feel about the role they play in my narrative. It is scary to revisit nightmares and daymares that have haunted me. Some memories are so painful to contemplate, and others just infuriate me. But it is the feelings that creep out during the quiet, still moments that frighten me the most. Those are the feelings that I wouldn't allow myself to experience. But if there is anything that working with Hippo has taught me, it is that being present and accepting the moment and the experience is the best way to reach for happiness. That and naps should be highly encouraged. (Seriously, this puppers will sleep everywhere when she is not working.)
The human experience is one peppered with suffering. We fall ill. We have feelings hurt. We injure ourselves. Sometimes we experience traumatic events. There is really no way to prevent the suffering. If we don't suffer from traumatic events or illnesses, something else will cause us pain. The thing to remember is that it is not our responsibility, whatever the cause of the suffering. It is not important the fault, per se. But what we can take responsibility for is seeking healing. We are responsible for finding a way to live on after the hard things come. We need to seek the counseling. It isn't easy, being proactive in the aftermath of traumas. Sometimes the horrors can bog down our minds and pull our hearts apart. I have found that a snuggling furry companion, who is unstinting in her licks and happy tail wagging, to be a balm. I am often overwhelmed by the thoughts that plague my mind. Thank the universe that one of Hippo's tasks is to bring me back from spinning out.
I want to end today's post on a hopeful note. The first EMDR session I had was very helpful. And in the aftermath, I am able to talk about the trauma we worked on without breaking down. Many of my anxieties associated with this event have lessened. In the following session, my therapist and I unpacked my feelings following our work. We talked about moving forward. I'm looking forward to tackling another big trauma in our next EMDR session. Here's hoping there's a break in the clouds this weekend.
I think our emotions can play a part in the creation/nurturing of the clouds. Not to say there is any sort of morality or whatever about feelings. This isn't an anthropomorphizing of emotions. But our feelings, how we interpret them, and how we express them CAN hinder our movement through the world. They can create a block for seeing the reality of a situation.
What does this have to do with working with or training a service dog? I have found that as Hippo and I grow to trust one another, my feelings are surfacing at an unprecedented(for me) rate. She has helped me to feel safe enough to explore difficult traumatic events and how I felt/feel about the role they play in my narrative. It is scary to revisit nightmares and daymares that have haunted me. Some memories are so painful to contemplate, and others just infuriate me. But it is the feelings that creep out during the quiet, still moments that frighten me the most. Those are the feelings that I wouldn't allow myself to experience. But if there is anything that working with Hippo has taught me, it is that being present and accepting the moment and the experience is the best way to reach for happiness. That and naps should be highly encouraged. (Seriously, this puppers will sleep everywhere when she is not working.)
The human experience is one peppered with suffering. We fall ill. We have feelings hurt. We injure ourselves. Sometimes we experience traumatic events. There is really no way to prevent the suffering. If we don't suffer from traumatic events or illnesses, something else will cause us pain. The thing to remember is that it is not our responsibility, whatever the cause of the suffering. It is not important the fault, per se. But what we can take responsibility for is seeking healing. We are responsible for finding a way to live on after the hard things come. We need to seek the counseling. It isn't easy, being proactive in the aftermath of traumas. Sometimes the horrors can bog down our minds and pull our hearts apart. I have found that a snuggling furry companion, who is unstinting in her licks and happy tail wagging, to be a balm. I am often overwhelmed by the thoughts that plague my mind. Thank the universe that one of Hippo's tasks is to bring me back from spinning out.
I want to end today's post on a hopeful note. The first EMDR session I had was very helpful. And in the aftermath, I am able to talk about the trauma we worked on without breaking down. Many of my anxieties associated with this event have lessened. In the following session, my therapist and I unpacked my feelings following our work. We talked about moving forward. I'm looking forward to tackling another big trauma in our next EMDR session. Here's hoping there's a break in the clouds this weekend.
Comments
Post a Comment